The Breakfast of Champions (The Dark Lord's Diner Book 1)
When he was alive, the Dark Lord tried to conquer the world of Allbreath. Who knew that conquest was easier than opening a diner in a bad part of town?
Salvanguish Abner Ordinal was having a bad day. He lost his ancient coin of power, his best friend stabbed him through the heart, and he died. Death is so inconvenient. A thousand years later, he is resurrected and given a choice: Live by a strict code of ethics or return to the Abyssmuck for an eternity of torture. Kind of an easy decision.
His only option for cash is opening a haunted diner where one ghost is giving him peaches while another is trying to kill him dead. Tower City on Torment Island isn't an easy place to live, not with all the tower climbers there, seeking the Deux Coin. Then there's the inept but very fashionable governor and five very strange mafia families fighting over territory.
Sal has his work cut out for him. His arsenal of spells are gone, and he's having trouble figuring out his new character sheet. But one thing is clear, his Karmic Gauge makes it impossible for him to lie, cheat, steal, or murder his way to success.
It's like THE LORD OF THE RINGS meets PARKS & REC, or what if Sauron opened a breakfast café in Minas Tirith with the help of a friendly mouse?
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The Dark Lord's Diner | 47 | Chapter Forty-Seven – Henrietta, the Dancing Chicken | RoyalRoadL | |
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The Dark Lord's Diner | 46 | Chapter Forty-Six – One Peeved Pontra | RoyalRoadL | |
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The Dark Lord's Diner | 45 | Chapter Forty-Five – The Disgruntled Demon | RoyalRoadL | |
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The Dark Lord's Diner | 44 | Chapter Forty-Four – Fathers and Confessions | RoyalRoadL | |
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The Dark Lord's Diner | 43 | Chapter Forty-Three – The Copper Coop | RoyalRoadL | |
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The Dark Lord's Diner | 42 | Chapter Forty-Two – The Copper Halls | RoyalRoadL | |
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The Dark Lord's Diner | 41 | Chapter Forty-One – The Power of Pork | RoyalRoadL | |
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The Dark Lord's Diner | 40 | Chapter Forty – Risking Everything | RoyalRoadL | |
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The Dark Lord's Diner | 39 | Chapter Thirty-Nine – The Road to Bloodsoaked | RoyalRoadL | |
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The Dark Lord's Diner | 38 | Chapter Thirty-Eight – Bacon and Gnocchi | RoyalRoadL | |
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The Dark Lord's Diner | 37 | Chapter Thirty-Seven – How To Save a Life | RoyalRoadL | |
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The Dark Lord's Diner | 36 | Chapter Thirty-Six – An Unexpected Return | RoyalRoadL | |
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The Dark Lord's Diner | 35 | Chapter Thirty-Five – A Little Help | RoyalRoadL | |
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The Dark Lord's Diner | 34 | Chapter Thirty-Four –Sword Retrieval | RoyalRoadL | |
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The Dark Lord's Diner | 33 | Chapter Thirty-Three – Shivaun's Trauma | RoyalRoadL | |
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The Dark Lord's Diner | 32 | Chapter Thirty-Two – The Impossibility of a New Business | RoyalRoadL | |
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The Dark Lord's Diner | 31 | Chapter Thirty-One – The Pig Hats | RoyalRoadL | |
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The Dark Lord's Diner | 30 | Chapter Thirty – Send in the Clowns | RoyalRoadL | |
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The Dark Lord's Diner | 29 | Chapter Twenty-Nine – The Boss Underground | RoyalRoadL | |
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The Dark Lord's Diner | 28 | Chapter Twenty-Eight – An Understanding | RoyalRoadL | |
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The Dark Lord's Diner | 27 | Chapter Twenty-Seven – Unexpected Housemate | RoyalRoadL | |
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The Dark Lord's Diner | 26 | Chapter Twenty-Six – The Church Lady | RoyalRoadL | |
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The Dark Lord's Diner | 25 | Chapter Twenty-Five – The Grand Opening | RoyalRoadL | |
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The Dark Lord's Diner | 24 | Chapter Twenty-Four – Life is Difficult | RoyalRoadL | |
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The Dark Lord's Diner | 23 | Chapter Twenty-Three – The Stink of Marketing | RoyalRoadL | |
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The Dark Lord's Diner | 22 | Chapter Twenty-Two – Very Personal Magic | RoyalRoadL | |
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The Dark Lord's Diner | 21 | Chapter Twenty-One – A Charitable Meal | RoyalRoadL | |
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The Dark Lord's Diner | 20 | Chapter Twenty – Menu Planning | RoyalRoadL | |
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The Dark Lord's Diner | 19 | Chapter Nineteen – A Delicate Matter | RoyalRoadL | |
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The Dark Lord's Diner | 18 | Chapter Eighteen – Otto the Feather Pharaoh | RoyalRoadL | |
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The Dark Lord's Diner | 17 | Chapter Seventeen – Dinner Discussion | RoyalRoadL | |
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The Dark Lord's Diner | 16 | Chapter Sixteen – The Ghost's Concerns | RoyalRoadL | |
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The Dark Lord's Diner | 15 | Chapter Fifteen – Governor Ziggy | RoyalRoadL | |
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The Dark Lord's Diner | 14 | Chapter Fourteen – Two Weeks of Relative Comfort | RoyalRoadL | |
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The Dark Lord's Diner | 13 | Chapter Thirteen – A Bit of a Confession | RoyalRoadL | |
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The Dark Lord's Diner | 12 | Chapter Twelve – A Rather Loud Exorcism | RoyalRoadL | |
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The Dark Lord's Diner | 11 | Chapter Eleven – Dishes and Dishing | RoyalRoadL | |
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The Dark Lord's Diner | 10 | Chapter Ten – Dinner with a Sorceress | RoyalRoadL | |
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The Dark Lord's Diner | 9 | Chapter Nine – Another Banshee Morning | RoyalRoadL | |
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The Dark Lord's Diner | 8 | Chapter Eight – Desperate Banter | RoyalRoadL | |
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The Dark Lord's Diner | 7 | Chapter Seven – True Treasure | RoyalRoadL | |
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The Dark Lord's Diner | 6 | Chapter Six – The Strangely Handsome Priest | RoyalRoadL | |
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The Dark Lord's Diner | 5 | Chapter Five – Man About Town | RoyalRoadL | |
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The Dark Lord's Diner | 4 | Chapter Four – The First Morning | RoyalRoadL | |
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The Dark Lord's Diner | 3 | Chapter Three – Tower Talk | RoyalRoadL | |
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The Dark Lord's Diner | 2 | Chapter Two – Mouse in the House | RoyalRoadL | |
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The Dark Lord's Diner | 1 | Chapter One – Voice in the Darkness | RoyalRoadL | |
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The Dark Lord's Diner | Prologue - A Thousand Years Ago… | RoyalRoadL | ||