NEWDIE STEADSLAW is a randomized array of Chekhov's red herrings, non sequitors ex machina, run-on sentences, and em dashes— so many em dashes. It's like if the Bible and Shakespeare had a baby that they surrendered to foster care, then it got adopted by Alice in Wonderland and Dr. Seuss—the books, not the people—and then the baby fell down the stairs. In this metaphor, the stairs wrote the story.
Part I is the tale of the adventures of Traycup and Roby as they try to hold down a job inside the hollow Earth—a place made possible thanks to the secret science of embargoed relativity—and they get distracted by dancing foxes, a giant's record collection, and something with a train, I think. It's a work of fiction—although to call it work seems insulting to, y'know, actual work —but the fiction label is apt, so, y'know, that's a win. Half the words are made up, and the other half are embarrassed to be seen with them.
Part I is complete.
View | Series | Vol | Chap | Extra | Group/Host |
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Newdie Steadslaw Part I | 46 | Chapter 46: The Day when Days Stopped | RoyalRoadL | |
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Newdie Steadslaw Part I | 45 | Chapter 45A: The Last Order & Chapter 45B: We Can Go Back | RoyalRoadL | |
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Newdie Steadslaw Part I | 44 | Chapter 44: Keep a Big Secret | RoyalRoadL | |
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Newdie Steadslaw Part I | 43 | Chapter 43: I'm Not Concerned About Rules | RoyalRoadL | |
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Newdie Steadslaw Part I | 42 | Chapter 42: I Shall Do My Best | RoyalRoadL | |
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Newdie Steadslaw Part I | 41 | Chapter 41: The Last Name You'll Ever Have | RoyalRoadL | |
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Newdie Steadslaw Part I | 40 | Chapter 40: Burning to Dust | RoyalRoadL | |
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Newdie Steadslaw Part I | 39 | Chapter 39: You Could Have Been Like Them | RoyalRoadL | |
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Newdie Steadslaw Part I | 38 | Chapter 38: It's All Done Now | RoyalRoadL | |
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Newdie Steadslaw Part I | 37 | Chapter 37: The Time He's Given Up | RoyalRoadL | |
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Newdie Steadslaw Part I | 36 | Chapter 36: I Can Explain | RoyalRoadL | |
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Newdie Steadslaw Part I | 35 | Chapter 35: Don't Pray, but Judge | RoyalRoadL | |
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Newdie Steadslaw Part I | 34 | Chapter 34: Cheaters Win | RoyalRoadL | |
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Newdie Steadslaw Part I | 33 | Chapter 33: I Don't Have to Put Up with This | RoyalRoadL | |
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Newdie Steadslaw Part I | 32 | Chapter 32: Part of My Keto Plan | RoyalRoadL | |
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Newdie Steadslaw Part I | 31 | Chapter 31: Where the Monkeys were Playing Cards | RoyalRoadL | |
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Newdie Steadslaw Part I | 30 | Chapter 30: Do Not Speak | RoyalRoadL | |
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Newdie Steadslaw Part I | 29 | Chapter 29: The Imp's Impetus | RoyalRoadL | |
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Newdie Steadslaw Part I | 28 | Chapter 28: No Cruelty Was Too Much | RoyalRoadL | |
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Newdie Steadslaw Part I | 27 | Chapter 27: Skip This Chapter | RoyalRoadL | |
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Newdie Steadslaw Part I | 26 | Chapter 26: The Penalty for Innocence | RoyalRoadL | |
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Newdie Steadslaw Part I | 25 | Chapter 25: Out for Attention | RoyalRoadL | |
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Newdie Steadslaw Part I | 24 | Chapter 24: The Chase is Done | RoyalRoadL | |
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Newdie Steadslaw Part I | 23 | Chapter 23: A Pair if you Cease | RoyalRoadL | |
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Newdie Steadslaw Part I | 22 | Chapter 22: Now We're Getting Somewhere | RoyalRoadL | |
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Newdie Steadslaw Part I | 21 | Chapter 21: I Didn't Expect That | RoyalRoadL | |
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Newdie Steadslaw Part I | 20 | Chapter 20: Thanks For Waiting | RoyalRoadL | |
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Newdie Steadslaw Part I | 19 | Chapter 19: Open for a Pounder | RoyalRoadL | |
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Newdie Steadslaw Part I | 18 | Chapter 18: Pain is Inevitable in Life | RoyalRoadL | |
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Newdie Steadslaw Part I | 17 | Chapter 17: Tall White Walls | RoyalRoadL | |
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Newdie Steadslaw Part I | 16 | Chapter 16: Everything Caught on Fire | RoyalRoadL | |
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Newdie Steadslaw Part I | 15 | Chapter 15: A Standard and Measured Response | RoyalRoadL | |
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Newdie Steadslaw Part I | 14 | Chapter 14: It's Part of the Job | RoyalRoadL | |
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Newdie Steadslaw Part I | 13 | Chapter 13: When They Needed It the Most | RoyalRoadL | |
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Newdie Steadslaw Part I | 12 | Chapter 12: What Few They Had | RoyalRoadL | |
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Newdie Steadslaw Part I | 11 | Chapter 11: Onward to the Extremities | RoyalRoadL | |
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Newdie Steadslaw Part I | 10 | Chapter 10: An Emergency Had Been Declared | RoyalRoadL | |
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Newdie Steadslaw Part I | 9 | Chapter 9: It's Not Your Life on the Line | RoyalRoadL | |
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Newdie Steadslaw Part I | 8 | Chapter 8: I Guess We'll Put a House Here | RoyalRoadL | |
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Newdie Steadslaw Part I | 7 | Chapter 7: An Odd One Indeed | RoyalRoadL | |
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Newdie Steadslaw Part I | 6 | Chapter 6: Dancing, as One Must | RoyalRoadL | |
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Newdie Steadslaw Part I | 5 | Chapter 5: You Can't Be on Your Own Side | RoyalRoadL | |
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Newdie Steadslaw Part I | 4 | Chapter 4: It's Impossible, and They've Already Lied | RoyalRoadL | |
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Newdie Steadslaw Part I | 3 | Chapter 3: It Seems Like Rather a Lot | RoyalRoadL | |
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Newdie Steadslaw Part I | 2 | Chapter 2: It's Just the Worst | RoyalRoadL | |
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Newdie Steadslaw Part I | 1 | Chapter 1: A Diverse and Open-mindless Place | RoyalRoadL |