I don't think I'm doing this right.... Wait is it typing? I think... wait... Damn nails. What if I click No, I don't want to see cat... that quite cute actually. Can I order it? Wait...

Greetings cattle with eyes! Yes, it is I, Richard Wythenshawe. Do not be afraid, I can't hurt you, but feel free to comment your name and blood type.

I have suffered in silence long enough and I have found this place of royalty to express my dire feelings of discontent through the medium of literature.

BEHOLD MY WIT, HOW DO I....

Behold my journal of darkness, my fiendish ramblings, my exorcizing of my discontent of being a night dweller in this age of technology with eye pads and eye phones. Honestly, how is a blood sucker supposed to get a meal around here when there's so many eyes? It sounds unnatural, and that's coming from me.