Newdie Steadslaw

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NEWDIE STEADSLAW is a randomized array of Chekhov's red herrings, non sequitors ex machina, run-on sentences, and em dashes— so many em dashes. It's like if the Bible and Shakespeare had a baby that they surrendered to foster care, then it got adopted by Alice in Wonderland and Dr. Seuss—the books, not the people—and then the baby fell down the stairs. In this metaphor, the stairs wrote the story.

This is the tale of the adventures of Traycup and Roby as they try to hold down a job inside the hollow Earth—a place made possible thanks to the secret science of embargoed relativity—and they get distracted by dancing foxes, a giant's record collection, and something with a train, I think. It's a work of fiction—although to call it work seems insulting to, y'know, actual work —but the fiction label is apt, so, y'know, that's a win. Half the words are made up, and the other half are embarrassed to be seen with them.

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Last Update:
964 d, 12 h ago Probably stalled or dropped!
Alternate Names: [edit] [history]
  • Newdie Steadslaw
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https://www.royalroad.com/fiction/45134

Releases found: 44

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Series Releases:

Latest release - ch. 44.0
View Series Vol Chap Extra Group/Host
Newdie Steadslaw 44 Chapter 44: Keep a Big Secret RoyalRoadL
Newdie Steadslaw 43 Chapter 43: I'm Not Concerned About Rules RoyalRoadL
Newdie Steadslaw 42 Chapter 42: I Shall Do My Best RoyalRoadL
Newdie Steadslaw 41 Chapter 41: The Last Name You'll Ever Have RoyalRoadL
Newdie Steadslaw 40 Chapter 40: Burning to Dust RoyalRoadL
Newdie Steadslaw 39 Chapter 39: You Could Have Been Like Them RoyalRoadL
Newdie Steadslaw 38 Chapter 38: It's All Done Now RoyalRoadL
Newdie Steadslaw 37 Chapter 37: The Time He's Given Up RoyalRoadL
Newdie Steadslaw 36 Chapter 36: I Can Explain RoyalRoadL
Newdie Steadslaw 35 Chapter 35: Don't Pray, but Judge RoyalRoadL
Newdie Steadslaw 34 Chapter 34: Cheaters Win RoyalRoadL
Newdie Steadslaw 33 Chapter 33: I Don't Have to Put Up with This RoyalRoadL
Newdie Steadslaw 32 Chapter 32: Part of My Keto Plan RoyalRoadL
Newdie Steadslaw 31 Chapter 31: Where the Monkeys were Playing Cards RoyalRoadL
Newdie Steadslaw 30 Chapter 30: Do Not Speak RoyalRoadL
Newdie Steadslaw 29 Chapter 29: The Imp's Impetus RoyalRoadL
Newdie Steadslaw 28 Chapter 28: No Cruelty Was Too Much RoyalRoadL
Newdie Steadslaw 27 Chapter 27: Skip This Chapter RoyalRoadL
Newdie Steadslaw 26 Chapter 26: The Penalty for Innocence RoyalRoadL
Newdie Steadslaw 25 Chapter 25: Out for Attention RoyalRoadL
Newdie Steadslaw 24 Chapter 24: The Chase is Done RoyalRoadL
Newdie Steadslaw 23 Chapter 23: A Pair if you Cease RoyalRoadL
Newdie Steadslaw 22 Chapter 22: Now We're Getting Somewhere RoyalRoadL
Newdie Steadslaw 21 Chapter 21: I Didn't Expect That RoyalRoadL
Newdie Steadslaw 20 Chapter 20: Thanks For Waiting RoyalRoadL
Newdie Steadslaw 19 Chapter 19: Open for a Pounder RoyalRoadL
Newdie Steadslaw 18 Chapter 18: Pain is Inevitable in Life RoyalRoadL
Newdie Steadslaw 17 Chapter 17: Tall White Walls RoyalRoadL
Newdie Steadslaw 16 Chapter 16: Everything Caught on Fire RoyalRoadL
Newdie Steadslaw 15 Chapter 15: A Standard and Measured Response RoyalRoadL
Newdie Steadslaw 14 Chapter 14: It's Part of the Job RoyalRoadL
Newdie Steadslaw 13 Chapter 13: When They Needed It the Most RoyalRoadL
Newdie Steadslaw 12 Chapter 12: What Few They Had RoyalRoadL
Newdie Steadslaw 11 Chapter 11: Onward to the Extremities RoyalRoadL
Newdie Steadslaw 10 Chapter 10: An Emergency Had Been Declared RoyalRoadL
Newdie Steadslaw 9 Chapter 9: It's Not Your Life on the Line RoyalRoadL
Newdie Steadslaw 8 Chapter 8: I Guess We'll Put a House Here RoyalRoadL
Newdie Steadslaw 7 Chapter 7: An Odd One Indeed RoyalRoadL
Newdie Steadslaw 6 Chapter 6: Dancing, as One Must RoyalRoadL
Newdie Steadslaw 5 Chapter 5: You Can't Be on Your Own Side RoyalRoadL
Newdie Steadslaw 4 Chapter 4: It's Impossible, and They've Already Lied RoyalRoadL
Newdie Steadslaw 3 Chapter 3: It Seems Like Rather a Lot RoyalRoadL
Newdie Steadslaw 2 Chapter 2: It's Just the Worst RoyalRoadL
Newdie Steadslaw 1 Chapter 1: A Diverse and Open-mindless Place RoyalRoadL