NEWDIE STEADSLAW is a randomized array of Chekhov's red herrings, non sequitors ex machina, run-on sentences, and em dashes— so many em dashes. It's like if the Bible and Shakespeare had a baby that they surrendered to foster care, then it got adopted by Alice in Wonderland and Dr. Seuss—the books, not the people—and then the baby fell down the stairs. In this metaphor, the stairs wrote the story.
This is the tale of the adventures of Traycup and Roby as they try to hold down a job inside the hollow Earth—a place made possible thanks to the secret science of embargoed relativity—and they get distracted by dancing foxes, a giant's record collection, and something with a train, I think. It's a work of fiction—although to call it work seems insulting to, y'know, actual work —but the fiction label is apt, so, y'know, that's a win. Half the words are made up, and the other half are embarrassed to be seen with them.
View | Series | Vol | Chap | Extra | Group/Host |
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Newdie Steadslaw | 44 | Chapter 44: Keep a Big Secret | RoyalRoadL | |
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Newdie Steadslaw | 43 | Chapter 43: I'm Not Concerned About Rules | RoyalRoadL | |
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Newdie Steadslaw | 42 | Chapter 42: I Shall Do My Best | RoyalRoadL | |
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Newdie Steadslaw | 41 | Chapter 41: The Last Name You'll Ever Have | RoyalRoadL | |
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Newdie Steadslaw | 40 | Chapter 40: Burning to Dust | RoyalRoadL | |
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Newdie Steadslaw | 39 | Chapter 39: You Could Have Been Like Them | RoyalRoadL | |
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Newdie Steadslaw | 38 | Chapter 38: It's All Done Now | RoyalRoadL | |
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Newdie Steadslaw | 37 | Chapter 37: The Time He's Given Up | RoyalRoadL | |
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Newdie Steadslaw | 36 | Chapter 36: I Can Explain | RoyalRoadL | |
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Newdie Steadslaw | 35 | Chapter 35: Don't Pray, but Judge | RoyalRoadL | |
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Newdie Steadslaw | 34 | Chapter 34: Cheaters Win | RoyalRoadL | |
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Newdie Steadslaw | 33 | Chapter 33: I Don't Have to Put Up with This | RoyalRoadL | |
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Newdie Steadslaw | 32 | Chapter 32: Part of My Keto Plan | RoyalRoadL | |
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Newdie Steadslaw | 31 | Chapter 31: Where the Monkeys were Playing Cards | RoyalRoadL | |
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Newdie Steadslaw | 30 | Chapter 30: Do Not Speak | RoyalRoadL | |
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Newdie Steadslaw | 29 | Chapter 29: The Imp's Impetus | RoyalRoadL | |
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Newdie Steadslaw | 28 | Chapter 28: No Cruelty Was Too Much | RoyalRoadL | |
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Newdie Steadslaw | 27 | Chapter 27: Skip This Chapter | RoyalRoadL | |
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Newdie Steadslaw | 26 | Chapter 26: The Penalty for Innocence | RoyalRoadL | |
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Newdie Steadslaw | 25 | Chapter 25: Out for Attention | RoyalRoadL | |
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Newdie Steadslaw | 24 | Chapter 24: The Chase is Done | RoyalRoadL | |
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Newdie Steadslaw | 23 | Chapter 23: A Pair if you Cease | RoyalRoadL | |
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Newdie Steadslaw | 22 | Chapter 22: Now We're Getting Somewhere | RoyalRoadL | |
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Newdie Steadslaw | 21 | Chapter 21: I Didn't Expect That | RoyalRoadL | |
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Newdie Steadslaw | 20 | Chapter 20: Thanks For Waiting | RoyalRoadL | |
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Newdie Steadslaw | 19 | Chapter 19: Open for a Pounder | RoyalRoadL | |
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Newdie Steadslaw | 18 | Chapter 18: Pain is Inevitable in Life | RoyalRoadL | |
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Newdie Steadslaw | 17 | Chapter 17: Tall White Walls | RoyalRoadL | |
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Newdie Steadslaw | 16 | Chapter 16: Everything Caught on Fire | RoyalRoadL | |
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Newdie Steadslaw | 15 | Chapter 15: A Standard and Measured Response | RoyalRoadL | |
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Newdie Steadslaw | 14 | Chapter 14: It's Part of the Job | RoyalRoadL | |
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Newdie Steadslaw | 13 | Chapter 13: When They Needed It the Most | RoyalRoadL | |
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Newdie Steadslaw | 12 | Chapter 12: What Few They Had | RoyalRoadL | |
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Newdie Steadslaw | 11 | Chapter 11: Onward to the Extremities | RoyalRoadL | |
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Newdie Steadslaw | 10 | Chapter 10: An Emergency Had Been Declared | RoyalRoadL | |
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Newdie Steadslaw | 9 | Chapter 9: It's Not Your Life on the Line | RoyalRoadL | |
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Newdie Steadslaw | 8 | Chapter 8: I Guess We'll Put a House Here | RoyalRoadL | |
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Newdie Steadslaw | 7 | Chapter 7: An Odd One Indeed | RoyalRoadL | |
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Newdie Steadslaw | 6 | Chapter 6: Dancing, as One Must | RoyalRoadL | |
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Newdie Steadslaw | 5 | Chapter 5: You Can't Be on Your Own Side | RoyalRoadL | |
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Newdie Steadslaw | 4 | Chapter 4: It's Impossible, and They've Already Lied | RoyalRoadL | |
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Newdie Steadslaw | 3 | Chapter 3: It Seems Like Rather a Lot | RoyalRoadL | |
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Newdie Steadslaw | 2 | Chapter 2: It's Just the Worst | RoyalRoadL | |
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Newdie Steadslaw | 1 | Chapter 1: A Diverse and Open-mindless Place | RoyalRoadL |