Just Don't Shoot the Quartermaster

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Aliens are real! And monsters! But that's racist, don't call them that. And there's magic too!

The life of humble, hard-working Carioca*¹² Rafael Barro is thrown into disarray when the interstellar Multi-Unity Alliance comes knocking. During the negotiations to take Earth in as a Protected Member-Planet for the glory of our AI overlords, the aliens 'accidentally' break the Veil that keeps the mythics protected from humanity's knowledge, revealing the creatures of legend and myth that were hiding among us for millennia — from the doorman to global leaders.

After a series of mishaps in his ever chaotic Brazil, our intrepid hero decides to join the Unity's Army, where he ends up as a inglorious… quartermaster. The Unity takes all recruits to make matters worse, including the mythics! And the cherry on the damn pie is Rafael Barro's extra assignment: writing this historical first-hand report on the wonders of Earth's diversity, the seamless adaptation of all its members, and on his gallant units' first stellar expedition ever to defend another precious*³ world! Are we talking about the same planet?

(Reader discretion is advised; Contains Graphic Language and Potentially Excessive Swearing)

*¹ Carioca = demonym of someone from Rio de Janeiro, Brazil.

*² humble and/or hardworking Cariocas = not necessarily mythics, ordinary ones actually exist.

*³ precious = inasmuch every living planet is precious.

Editor's Note: Someone disable his permission to edit the draft on UnityDocs, please!

Hello, I'm McKing and I aim to write an original story with elements I've never seen put together before. Feel free to point out any mistakes you see — I'm not a native speaker, so I'm sure a few will pass me by.

Sci-fi; Humor; (Brazilian) Urban Fantasy; faint shades of LitRPG. **Be warned it has a bit of an (absurd) slice-of-life beginning though the story is being subtly (I hope) worked on and eventually shifts gears (a bit). I planned to say that from the beginning, but I forgot to add it.**

I hope that you enjoy it and that I can grow as a writer with your contributions.

No Fixed Update Schedule. My inspiration comes in bursts and so will the Chapters. Sorry if that displeases you (I love regular updates too), but I'm afraid that's the best I can do for now.

Keep in mind that it is a work in progress and things can eventually change a bit - I'll try to always note the changes. Sorry for the bad cover, it was the best my sorry skills could do!

I hope you enjoy it,Mcking

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  • Just Don't Shoot the Quartermaster
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https://www.royalroad.com/fiction/32164/just-dont-shoot-the-quartermaster

Releases found: 43

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Series Releases:

Latest release - ch. 27.0
View Series Vol Chap Extra Group/Host
Just Don't Shoot the Quartermaster 27 Chapter 27: Dumb and Dumber RoyalRoadL
Just Don't Shoot the Quartermaster 27 Chapter 27: Dumb and Dumber RoyalRoadL
Just Don't Shoot the Quartermaster 26 Chapter 26: Egg-Bearer RoyalRoadL
Just Don't Shoot the Quartermaster 26 Chapter 26: Egg-Bearer RoyalRoadL
Just Don't Shoot the Quartermaster 25 Chapter 25: Heavy-Duty RoyalRoadL
Just Don't Shoot the Quartermaster 25 Chapter 25: Heavy-Duty RoyalRoadL
Just Don't Shoot the Quartermaster 24 Chapter 24: Penal Honor Guard RoyalRoadL
Just Don't Shoot the Quartermaster 24 Chapter 24: Penal Honor Guard RoyalRoadL
Just Don't Shoot the Quartermaster 23 Chapter 23: Screw Dense Artificer RoyalRoadL
Just Don't Shoot the Quartermaster 23 Chapter 23: Screw Dense Artificer RoyalRoadL
Just Don't Shoot the Quartermaster 22-2 Chapter 22: Interlude (pt.2) - Grey Hunting RoyalRoadL
Just Don't Shoot the Quartermaster 22-2 Chapter 22: Interlude (pt.2) - Grey Hunting RoyalRoadL
Just Don't Shoot the Quartermaster 22-1 Chapter 22: Interlude (pt.1) - Grey Hunting RoyalRoadL
Just Don't Shoot the Quartermaster 22-1 Chapter 22: Interlude (pt.1) - Grey Hunting RoyalRoadL
Just Don't Shoot the Quartermaster 21 Chapter 21: Three Weeks Later RoyalRoadL
Just Don't Shoot the Quartermaster 21 Chapter 21: Three Weeks Later RoyalRoadL
Just Don't Shoot the Quartermaster 20 Chapter 20: Game-set-party RoyalRoadL
Just Don't Shoot the Quartermaster 20 Chapter 20: Game-set-party RoyalRoadL
Just Don't Shoot the Quartermaster 19 Chapter 19: Droid Lassoing RoyalRoadL
Just Don't Shoot the Quartermaster 19 Chapter 19: Droid Lassoing RoyalRoadL
Just Don't Shoot the Quartermaster 18 Chapter 18: Brazilian Way RoyalRoadL
Just Don't Shoot the Quartermaster 18 Chapter 18: Brazilian Way RoyalRoadL
Just Don't Shoot the Quartermaster 17 Chapter 17: Of Pigs and Snakes RoyalRoadL
Just Don't Shoot the Quartermaster 17 Chapter 17: Of Pigs and Snakes RoyalRoadL
Just Don't Shoot the Quartermaster 16 Chapter 16: Valente's Fright RoyalRoadL
Just Don't Shoot the Quartermaster 16 Chapter 16: Valente's Fright RoyalRoadL
Just Don't Shoot the Quartermaster 15 Chapter 15: Sucker Punch RoyalRoadL
Just Don't Shoot the Quartermaster 14 Chapter 14: Machine Echoes RoyalRoadL
Just Don't Shoot the Quartermaster 13 Chapter 13: Virtualway Robbery RoyalRoadL
Just Don't Shoot the Quartermaster 12 Chapter 12: Galactic Dial-Up Internet RoyalRoadL
Just Don't Shoot the Quartermaster 11 Chapter 11: Stringing Along RoyalRoadL
Just Don't Shoot the Quartermaster 10 Chapter 10: Work in Progress RoyalRoadL
Just Don't Shoot the Quartermaster 9 Chapter 9: Market's Outpost RoyalRoadL
Just Don't Shoot the Quartermaster 8 Chapter 8: Meddling Bastards RoyalRoadL
Just Don't Shoot the Quartermaster 7 Chapter 7: Unwanted Aid RoyalRoadL
Just Don't Shoot the Quartermaster 6 Chapter 6: Watch your Step RoyalRoadL
Just Don't Shoot the Quartermaster 5 Chapter 5: Stupid Apps RoyalRoadL
Just Don't Shoot the Quartermaster 4 Chapter 4: Kurupira Flight School RoyalRoadL
Just Don't Shoot the Quartermaster 3 Chapter 3: Insolent Mutt RoyalRoadL
Just Don't Shoot the Quartermaster 2 Chapter 2: Breaking the Veil RoyalRoadL
Just Don't Shoot the Quartermaster 1 Chapter 1: Tie your Own Shoes RoyalRoadL
Just Don't Shoot the Quartermaster Slow Down RoyalRoadL
Just Don't Shoot the Quartermaster Slow Down RoyalRoadL