Old Riding Author Lunatic Asylum

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Just off the A19, in the dark, incomprehensible lands known as Yorkshire, there lies a town. A town where shadow-silent alleys glint with the secret hunger of knives. Where blood soaks the chipboard window shutters of forsaken terraces stretching off into the night. Where the smog-choked air rattles with the depraved laughter echoing out from clubs that can only generously be described as post-apocalyptic.

Well, that's Middlesbrough. But down the A19 a bit (an impossibly long way down, actually) there lies another town: Raughnen, in the ancient, forgotten Old Riding. It is an equal match in muggery and thuggery alike. It also has magic spells and pointy wizard hats.

And now, across the miles and across all sensibilities, a pretty nasty power (a magic one) calls out for its pretty nasty counterpart (a decidedly unmagic one): a proper sound Boro lad.

Nothing good can come of it.

This is a collection of one novella and four connected short stories:

I. A Yorkshire Summoning

II. Old Riding Day Trip (the novella)

III. Heaven is a Parmo

IV. Death on the 66

V. Death on the 257

In total, this comprises 34 chapters totalling around 35,000 words, so try not to worry. It will be over relatively quickly.

There are three more short stories with more tenuous links to the core collection: Rush, Paper Round and Scenario 79: Sausage Fingers, all of which can be found in my collection Short Records of Misadventure. Reading these may allow you to make more sense of certain parts of the story, if any sense is to be made at all.

NOTE: There are instances of prejudice and discrimination within these stories, including elements of sexism and ageism, which are purely the thoughts and actions of the characters involved and which certainly do not reflect my own views on these matters.

ANOTHER NOTE; A WARNING, PERHAPS: This can get a bit weird. In less than 150 pages, we have four viewpoints, first and third person narratives, and a completely disjointed plot with lots of gaps, dead ends and no real resolution. Also ZERO lunatic asylums. It's all a bit odd. If that sort of thing isn't your cup of tea, which it most likely isn't, it might be best to move on now.

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1830 d, 10 h ago Probably stalled or dropped!
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  • Old Riding Author Lunatic Asylum
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https://www.royalroad.com/fiction/28234/old-riding-author-lunatic-asylum

Releases found: 102

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Series Releases:

Latest release - ch. 21825.0
View Series Vol Chap Extra Group/Host
Old Riding Author Lunatic Asylum 21825 ORDT VI: Quest No. 21825 RoyalRoadL
Old Riding Author Lunatic Asylum 257 Death on the 257 II RoyalRoadL
Old Riding Author Lunatic Asylum 257 Death on the 257 I RoyalRoadL
Old Riding Author Lunatic Asylum 257 Death on the 257 III RoyalRoadL
Old Riding Author Lunatic Asylum 257 Death on the 257 IV RoyalRoadL
Old Riding Author Lunatic Asylum 257 Death on the 257 V RoyalRoadL
Old Riding Author Lunatic Asylum 66 Death on the 66 I RoyalRoadL
Old Riding Author Lunatic Asylum 66 Death on the 66 II RoyalRoadL
Old Riding Author Lunatic Asylum 66 Death on the 66 III RoyalRoadL
Old Riding Author Lunatic Asylum 34 Death on the 257 V RoyalRoadL
Old Riding Author Lunatic Asylum 34 Death on the 257 V RoyalRoadL
Old Riding Author Lunatic Asylum 33 Death on the 257 IV RoyalRoadL
Old Riding Author Lunatic Asylum 33 Death on the 257 IV RoyalRoadL
Old Riding Author Lunatic Asylum 32 Death on the 257 III RoyalRoadL
Old Riding Author Lunatic Asylum 32 Death on the 257 III RoyalRoadL
Old Riding Author Lunatic Asylum 31 Death on the 257 II RoyalRoadL
Old Riding Author Lunatic Asylum 31 Death on the 257 II RoyalRoadL
Old Riding Author Lunatic Asylum 30 Death on the 257 I RoyalRoadL
Old Riding Author Lunatic Asylum 30 Death on the 257 I RoyalRoadL
Old Riding Author Lunatic Asylum 29 Death on the 66 III RoyalRoadL
Old Riding Author Lunatic Asylum 29 Death on the 66 III RoyalRoadL
Old Riding Author Lunatic Asylum 28 Death on the 66 II RoyalRoadL
Old Riding Author Lunatic Asylum 28 Death on the 66 II RoyalRoadL
Old Riding Author Lunatic Asylum 27 Death on the 66 I RoyalRoadL
Old Riding Author Lunatic Asylum 27 Death on the 66 I RoyalRoadL
Old Riding Author Lunatic Asylum 26 Heaven is a Parmo IV RoyalRoadL
Old Riding Author Lunatic Asylum 26 Heaven is a Parmo IV RoyalRoadL
Old Riding Author Lunatic Asylum 25 Heaven is a Parmo III RoyalRoadL
Old Riding Author Lunatic Asylum 25 Heaven is a Parmo III RoyalRoadL
Old Riding Author Lunatic Asylum 24 Heaven is a Parmo II RoyalRoadL
Old Riding Author Lunatic Asylum 24 Heaven is a Parmo II RoyalRoadL
Old Riding Author Lunatic Asylum 23 Heaven is a Parmo I RoyalRoadL
Old Riding Author Lunatic Asylum 23 Heaven is a Parmo I RoyalRoadL
Old Riding Author Lunatic Asylum 22 Ordt Xx: A19, 22:45 RoyalRoadL
Old Riding Author Lunatic Asylum 22 Ordt Xx: A19, 22:45 RoyalRoadL
Old Riding Author Lunatic Asylum 21 ORDT XIX: Long Way Up RoyalRoadL
Old Riding Author Lunatic Asylum 21 ORDT XIX: Long Way Up RoyalRoadL
Old Riding Author Lunatic Asylum 20 ORDT XVIII: It's Not You, It's Everything RoyalRoadL
Old Riding Author Lunatic Asylum 20 ORDT XVIII: It's Not You, It's Everything RoyalRoadL
Old Riding Author Lunatic Asylum 19 Ordt Xx: A19, 22:45 RoyalRoadL
Old Riding Author Lunatic Asylum 19 ORDT XVII: One For the Road RoyalRoadL
Old Riding Author Lunatic Asylum 19 ORDT XVII: One For the Road RoyalRoadL
Old Riding Author Lunatic Asylum 18 ORDT XVI: Boro Lad RoyalRoadL
Old Riding Author Lunatic Asylum 18 ORDT XVI: Boro Lad RoyalRoadL
Old Riding Author Lunatic Asylum 17 ORDT XV: The Church on the Hill RoyalRoadL
Old Riding Author Lunatic Asylum 17 ORDT XV: The Church on the Hill RoyalRoadL
Old Riding Author Lunatic Asylum 16 ORDT XIV: The Real Monsters RoyalRoadL
Old Riding Author Lunatic Asylum 16 ORDT XIV: The Real Monsters RoyalRoadL
Old Riding Author Lunatic Asylum 15 ORDT XIII: Mrs. Bradley and Her Technologically Innovative Daughter RoyalRoadL
Old Riding Author Lunatic Asylum 15 ORDT XIII: Mrs. Bradley and Her Technologically Innovative Daughter RoyalRoadL
Old Riding Author Lunatic Asylum 14 ORDT XII: Shotguns in the Dark RoyalRoadL
Old Riding Author Lunatic Asylum 14 ORDT XII: Shotguns in the Dark RoyalRoadL
Old Riding Author Lunatic Asylum 13 ORDT XI: Afternoon Amble, or the Big Massive Sweaty Horrible Hike RoyalRoadL
Old Riding Author Lunatic Asylum 13 ORDT XI: Afternoon Amble, or the Big Massive Sweaty Horrible Hike RoyalRoadL
Old Riding Author Lunatic Asylum 12 ORDT X: A Riveting Conversation RoyalRoadL
Old Riding Author Lunatic Asylum 12 ORDT X: A Riveting Conversation RoyalRoadL
Old Riding Author Lunatic Asylum 11 ORDT IX: Square One RoyalRoadL
Old Riding Author Lunatic Asylum 11 ORDT IX: Square One RoyalRoadL
Old Riding Author Lunatic Asylum 10 ORDT VIII: Dealer RoyalRoadL
Old Riding Author Lunatic Asylum 10 ORDT VIII: Dealer RoyalRoadL
Old Riding Author Lunatic Asylum 9 ORDT VII: Fall of the Teawalker RoyalRoadL
Old Riding Author Lunatic Asylum 9 ORDT VII: Fall of the Teawalker RoyalRoadL
Old Riding Author Lunatic Asylum 8 ORDT VI: Quest No. 21825 RoyalRoadL
Old Riding Author Lunatic Asylum 8 ORDT VI: Quest No. 21825 RoyalRoadL
Old Riding Author Lunatic Asylum 7 ORDT V: The Demon Museum, a Destination of My Own Choice RoyalRoadL
Old Riding Author Lunatic Asylum 7 ORDT V: The Demon Museum, a Destination of My Own Choice RoyalRoadL
Old Riding Author Lunatic Asylum 6 ORDT IV: Show Me a Sign RoyalRoadL
Old Riding Author Lunatic Asylum 6 ORDT IV: Show Me a Sign RoyalRoadL
Old Riding Author Lunatic Asylum 5 Old Riding Day Trip III: Grub Up RoyalRoadL
Old Riding Author Lunatic Asylum 5 Old Riding Day Trip III: Grub Up RoyalRoadL
Old Riding Author Lunatic Asylum 4 Old Riding Day Trip II: Sometimes Bad Things Happen to Tourists RoyalRoadL
Old Riding Author Lunatic Asylum 4 Old Riding Day Trip II: Sometimes Bad Things Happen to Tourists RoyalRoadL
Old Riding Author Lunatic Asylum 3 Old Riding Day Trip I: Nothing Bad Ever Happens to Tourists RoyalRoadL
Old Riding Author Lunatic Asylum 3 Old Riding Day Trip I: Nothing Bad Ever Happens to Tourists RoyalRoadL
Old Riding Author Lunatic Asylum 2 A Yorkshire Summoning II RoyalRoadL
Old Riding Author Lunatic Asylum 2 A Yorkshire Summoning II RoyalRoadL
Old Riding Author Lunatic Asylum 1 A Yorkshire Summoning I RoyalRoadL
Old Riding Author Lunatic Asylum 1 A Yorkshire Summoning I RoyalRoadL
Old Riding Author Lunatic Asylum ORDT XV: The Church on the Hill RoyalRoadL
Old Riding Author Lunatic Asylum ORDT XIX: Long Way Up RoyalRoadL
Old Riding Author Lunatic Asylum ORDT IX: Square One RoyalRoadL
Old Riding Author Lunatic Asylum ORDT XVI: Boro Lad RoyalRoadL
Old Riding Author Lunatic Asylum ORDT VIII: Dealer RoyalRoadL
Old Riding Author Lunatic Asylum ORDT XIV: The Real Monsters RoyalRoadL
Old Riding Author Lunatic Asylum ORDT XVIII: It's Not You, It's Everything RoyalRoadL
Old Riding Author Lunatic Asylum Heaven is a Parmo I RoyalRoadL
Old Riding Author Lunatic Asylum ORDT IV: Show Me a Sign RoyalRoadL
Old Riding Author Lunatic Asylum ORDT VII: Fall of the Teawalker RoyalRoadL
Old Riding Author Lunatic Asylum ORDT XIII: Mrs. Bradley and Her Technologically Innovative Daughter RoyalRoadL
Old Riding Author Lunatic Asylum ORDT XVII: One For the Road RoyalRoadL
Old Riding Author Lunatic Asylum Old Riding Day Trip III: Grub Up RoyalRoadL
Old Riding Author Lunatic Asylum ORDT X: A Riveting Conversation RoyalRoadL
Old Riding Author Lunatic Asylum Heaven is a Parmo IV RoyalRoadL
Old Riding Author Lunatic Asylum Heaven is a Parmo II RoyalRoadL
Old Riding Author Lunatic Asylum ORDT V: The Demon Museum, a Destination of My Own Choice RoyalRoadL
Old Riding Author Lunatic Asylum Heaven is a Parmo III RoyalRoadL
Old Riding Author Lunatic Asylum Old Riding Day Trip I: Nothing Bad Ever Happens to Tourists RoyalRoadL
Old Riding Author Lunatic Asylum A Yorkshire Summoning II RoyalRoadL
Old Riding Author Lunatic Asylum ORDT XII: Shotguns in the Dark RoyalRoadL
Old Riding Author Lunatic Asylum A Yorkshire Summoning I RoyalRoadL
Old Riding Author Lunatic Asylum Old Riding Day Trip II: Sometimes Bad Things Happen to Tourists RoyalRoadL
Old Riding Author Lunatic Asylum ORDT XI: Afternoon Amble, or the Big Massive Sweaty Horrible Hike RoyalRoadL