2020-06-11 22:46
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<p>The universe was a vast, empty, dark, and uncaring place. Then life happened, and the universe was changed forever. Only a teeny-tiny bit, but definitely different. Then again, the universe changes a teeny-tiny bit every second of every day. For instance, if someone were to get off the couch and randomly drink a glass of milk? Bam! One less glass of milk in the universe. Changed forever. Well, excluding any time-travel shenanigans, but anyone who puts a big old hole in the time-space continuum just to un-drink a glass of milk should really reevaluate their priorities. Unless, of course, they were attempting to prevent some massive catastrophe vis-a-vis said glass of milk. Such a scenario is by no means impossible, as one should never underestimate the importance of calcium.</p> <p>Another important tip for any life forms out there is to keep things in perspective. Some look at the vastness of creation in relation to themselves and go, 'Man, this sucks!' These people really need to narrow their focus. Sure, they will never affect anything happening on the other end of the galaxy, but so what? That's way the heck over there, where it doesn't matter. Therefore, in order to maintain a healthy mindset, it is important to narrow one's perspective to the things and people that affect them, and that they can affect in turn.</p> <p>Joe Mulligan perfectly embodies this idea, albeit in a slightly extreme form. Unless something is literally within walking distance of him, it might as well not exist as far as he's concerned. He's therefore never had to worry about things like who's in charge, where his breakfast comes from, or the state of the intergalactic economy. If ignorance is bliss, then Joe is the happiest chap to ever live. He has no intention to change that, either, given how he's never once had the urge to gaze into the infinite abyss of what lies outside his extremely narrow worldview.</p> <p>And yet, despite his best efforts, the abyss ended up staring at him anyway.</p> <p>Life was weird like that.</p>
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