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title
Afterlife Industries: The Devil's Day Job
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oel
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description
<p> A divine comedy about God, his sons Lucifer and Jesus, and Their celestial organization Afterlife Industries. </p> <p> Afterlife Industries is comprised of two main sectors -- and countless sectors under those -- Heaven and Hell. </p> <p> Heaven is run by God and Jesus, but only on paper. Jesus is mostly a poster boy for the place; he prefers to walk among us and cure the affirmed. He's the only general practitioner who hates the FDA because far as he's concerned, there's almost nothing faith and love can't fix. And for everything else, there's Pinot Noir -- antioxidants and phytonutrients and all that. </p> <p> God, a talented artist who's never excelled at hospitality management -- reference the flood, plagues, Sodom and Gomorrah -- spends his days drinking and wallowing. Despite the world's flaws he still hasn't figured out why people aren't validating his artistry like they used to. (You wouldn't get mad at Michaelangelo if someone defaced Mona Lisa, would you?) </p> <p> In other words, angels actually run Heaven. </p> <p> Always the black sheep, Lucifer works tirelessly to keep Hell -- which is mostly just a very hot underground Library -- in order. Practically living in the dark ages, he still uses a filing system even more esoteric than Dewey decimal. Still, he tries his best. It's almost as if he's trying to prove he's been mislabeled. </p> <p> It's all worked out pretty well so far, but things are about to change. </p> <p> The immortals Adam and Eve are still quite angry with the not-quite-holy trinity for the whole Eden thing, and are concocting a new plan for revenge. They use the resources at their company to hack into God's email account and, amidst a stream of cat memes the man upstairs likes sending to his sons, they find one rather useful email which God had written while drunk one night. </p> <p> It probably has something to do with kidnapping angels and demons, destroying the afterlife, and ending the world. There's always something with ending the world -- which is silly considering everyone knows the apocalypse is scheduled for 2050 anyway. </p> <p> </p>
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https://www.royalroad.com/fiction/24615/
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